Patriot's Nokia Mobile (Pain of being an Indian Muslim)

Patriot’s Nokia Mobile
By: Omair Anas

Playing cricket in south Asia is a more than sport. It is mix of politics both at home and cross border. So much so that cricket diplomacy is employed when real diplomacy seems to fail. Being a student of International relations, I am always careful about cricket though not about playing. One has to learn when cricket is sport and when it is diplomacy. Beyond diplomacy, cricket is also important in domestic politics. If India and Pakistan are playing, 150 million Indian Muslims are always under suspicion. You can not celebrate your birthday or having baby in your marital life or even you can not enjoy wedding party by fire cracking if India is on loosing side that day against Pakistan. If you dare, you might have to face sedition charges by your majority population fellows.

But my experience is beyond real cricket. I am always careful about my national loyalty. Even I advise my friends not to recite any Islamic song or speak against BJP if your head is toward Pakistan. I think that Muslims should not watch this ICC champion trophy this year; rather, they spend their time watching some Bhakti, Astha channels.

This time my problem is more complicated as I am now a good player of cricket. I use to play 10 to 20 matches daily. You should not be confused; I am talking about virtual cricket on mobile. Mobile companies in south Asia are well aware of cricket mania in south Asia and always careful to exploit it to expand their market. You will find cricket game in most of mobiles sets across the variety.

I always try to win like all ambitious people. No game is always to win. You loose and win according to your preparation and coaching. Technology is always boon but when you use it to be winner like in cricket you might be caught in big mess of nationalism as I fell.

Today, I was playing cricket. I won all matches against Australia, Sri Lanka and many other important and non important teams. But I felt that I could not play well against Pakistan. I was loosing. I thought that my mobile may be Chinese one as China is strategic partner of Pakistan and some says that it is China which is behind Pakistani nuclear bombs. China is also one of the largest producers of mobiles. China is now playing tricks to support Pakistan by its invincible technology. Secondly, I didn’t purchase mobile in India. My brother has sent it from Saudi Arabia. There were no Hindi words printed on my pad. The second suspicious country behind my defeat was now Saudi Arabia. I know that Saudi Arabia is always supporting Pakistan. Even many responsible people in India and political groups and thinkers have been writing and speaking that Saudi Arabia is financing Pakistani terrorism.

My God! I will never use any electronic machine if it is imported from Saudi Arabia. My patriotism is always above all of my requirements.

I was assessing every aspect behind my defeat. I tried to check other factors also. Though I am never hopeful to get a prize from Indian state or BCCI if I become champion, I only wanted to get relaxed that I am as Indian as any other person. And to prove it I must had to win. I wanted to get a reason which could satisfy me.
Yes! Match fixing! But it is out of question. Only possible fixing might have happened between China and Pakistan.

I was feeling guilt. Either I shouldn’t play or I must have to win. Only a Hindu has right to loose without suspicion. Like fake currency case, a Hindu fake currency convict is only criminal but his Muslim assistant must be motivated by Islam and ISI. A Hindu thieve is only thieve and will get normal penalty without news coverage. But a Muslim can be thieving only when a Mufti of a Madrasah would have ordered him in the way of Jihad against India. Because A Muslim is never supposed to be thieve, robber, ganger. He is always pious as clerics do speak in Msjid. That is why Police do believe that a Muslim can not involve in any crime except for Al-Qaida, ISI and Jihad factors. Soharbuddin of MP was encountered because he was a criminal of that instinct.

I pledged I will never play cricket. I also decided I would not do any thing in which Pakistan is my competitor. If Pakistan is prospering, I would love to remain poor so that my prosperity couldn’t cause any suspicion for Indian police. If they are going Nepal to see beauty of Mount Everest, I will never like to go to Nepal. If they are going to the US, I would like to die or to be encountered by nationalist police in India. If they are getting higher education, I would love to remain illiterate for the sake of my nation, to protect it from any potential terrorism from educated Muslim youths. That is why Maulana Abul Kalam Azad despite his proven patriotism had not liked to be Prime Minister of India (or would not be allowed by his well wishers in Congress like Nehru). A Muslim can and should be content with only those ministries where a Pakistan is not a factor like Railway, Coal, minority affairs. Even if he is in those ministries, he is supposed to avoid any such event where Pakistanis are likely to attend. Yes, I got. E. Ahmad is always busy attending funerals of Muslim monarchs, parties, Haj groups and all showcase activities for Muslim world. IPI pipeline talks are only meant for Sharma. Wonderful! This is the way we Indian Muslims can prove our nationalism.

Remaining poor, uneducated and weak is now proof of our nationalist loyalty. See how the educated people of Muslim community are being reported by nationalist media that they are involved in writing Urdu letters for Jihadis, having Maps of metro cities, planning bomb blasts etc and thus being detained, encountered and tried by Indian Nationalist Police or the judiciary. You are disloyal if you are educated because you are potential threat to this country as you are trying to copy Pakistanis by getting higher education, demanding your political rights and involving in Indian politics only to mobilize support for Pakistan.

I am really very sad that I lost the match to Pakistani team in my Mobile Game. I didn’t want to tell anybody, but the pain of being a Muslim pushed me to confess my crime, though unintentional. I apologize to all loyal, nationalist people of this country that I lost the Cricket Match in my mobile. I couldn’t win because I was not Hindu. I want my self be arrested by Indian nationalist Police before they encounter me or be hanged by patriots whose loyalty is always guaranteed because they are not born as Muslims. Even they loss every match, even they sell confidential documents, produce fake currency, take refuge in US after long service in RAW or do any crime.

I can’t explain why I lost that match. I could not protect honour of my country against the deadliest enemy of my nation. Crimes of Muslims are not crimes; they are treason, handiworks of ISI, and assignments of Al-Qaida, indoctrinated by Osama bin Laden. I hate Daud Ibrahim because he is terrorist mafia; I love Chhota Rajan as he is nationalist mafia. I wish him to get a Bharat Ratana for his courage to challenge a terrorist. May be some day he leads Anti Terrorist Mafia Morcha of some patriot party. Muslim Mafia like Daud is terrorist, motivated by religion, wants to establish Islamic State, destabilize this nation and so on. A Muslim is either innocent like Christ or Terrorist like Osama. I lost the match to Pakistan; I do not know where I posit myself, with Daud, al-Qaida or like many Hindu losers. Should I deserve any sympathy, love, care of this nation despite my defeat?
Like other big Indian Muslims I preferred not to involve any where Pakistan is going to rival India. I stopped playing cricket or at least I leave the match if there is Pakistani team. Not to play seems me better than playing. I can not put my loyalty in question.

The happiest day came when like many Indians, I lost my mobile. First I thanked God that I got rid of a Saudi imported Chinese product. I wish some non Muslim person would have found it so that he could play the cricket without any sense of guilt in my mobile.

Fortunately one of my close friends, whose patriotism is ever guaranteed because his name is not like Muslims, uses Nokia mobile. I took his mobile for a few minutes and saw the highest score of his cricket. It was really appreciable. He was always winner. I started playing. Bad or good luck, I do not know, in the very first one day match, I had to play against Pakistan. But my wonder that I stroke three six one after the other, even I stood carelessly because of disappointment. I won the match with big margin against Pakistan. I was surprised on my victory. I was feeling good but I didn’t disclose it to my friend.
I was some relaxed but the question now became more complicated. Why not my mobile! Why this Hindu mobile won the match! I can never be a patriot in this country except I am not a Muslim. Can I love truly my country if I become a Hindu; I also want to love this nation. Can my love, patriotism be ever guaranteed and never be suspected if I become Hindu. Is this the only way to love my land, my people and mera Hindustan?
Would you please tell me? justmedia@gmail.com

Omair Anas
M.Phil Student
Center for West Asian Studies
JNU, New Delhi
9868068370